can't keep it deep inside
i love you so i gotta speak my mind
almost 50 years have gone by
walking with that heart, got your feelings dry
wishing your daughter had no drive
opposite of encouragement every autumn
felt this deep pain inside of em
i tried to help you own some of the mistakes
maybe i shouldnt have put it on your plate
but i was only 8 why are you on my case
how is a failed relationship my place
all because i use my mouth to speak
you're yelling at me because my answer and why
man it hurts to know that with you the ceiling is the limit ,what's the sky
i've seen you lie about me
just to make sure i go misunderstood
i have a mouth i can speak for myself
you mock me now because i speak of Jesus
told me you wish you never kept me, in a way i see treason
why are you agreeing with demons
all because i told you a truth i felt
broke my heart to hear you speak those things
it's hard to say you'll see my wedding ring
or when my dreams finally bling
because here we are years later and you are still trying to break me down
sorry for the scars i mean i didnt lay down
that was your choice
im here and im living a blessing
even though my mami dont feel like addressing me
choose a man you just met over your daughter, sips tea
the maturity level at all time low
i guess "smart" people really slow
not sorry that i called you out
we all some colleges dropouts
but you still want a knockout
mad at me trying to punch me make me bleed
crazy thing all i did was sing
i told homie not to get in my car
told him the truth and he didnt get out how bizarre
you choose to be blind
all of you comfortably sitting in misery
ignorant that you keep repeating history
try to cut me out
telling me my life will be pure misery
how the past left me and i'll never win again
im winning now why even pretend
my happiness is mine and no one else's
i guess it's up to me to break the curses
because im rejoicing
i see you working father God
my mother told me i have no one not even a mother
all because i told her how i feel is this real God, holy father
i told her that I got you father God and thats all I need
to feel like a well oiled machine
i guess what is written is true,
the family will hate all because we walk with you
im peaceful and im planted
cant harass me with the antics
shouldve stayed on my own
but you needed a cosign
i ended moving with you and
looked the other way even when you showed your face
laying up at grandmas but couldnt help me move into my place
invited you over for dinner, you had disappointment on your face
glad you like the food but are you proud of me
i know you always doubted me
told me my rhymes were bad when i was in 3rd grade
i never gave it up but it gave a lack of trust
i couldnt trust myself because to you i was a bust
my voice was annoying and i talked too much
i laughed it off but as time goes by and we get older
when hard times came by and i needed a shoulder
yours was an ice boulder
it was always my fault
never any accountability for your actions
it's sad but like all my past friends you have that in common
instead of making peace with your daughter that i guess you didnt want anyway
you want to call the people and fabricate all to continue to live in your lies
why doesnt anyone admit when they're wrong
i own my past and present
i did it and i know why
see i got a clear mind
i used to go blind but they keep on going
trying to break me
sooner or later the wish will be granted
born again with no friends and family
it's okay God brings me company
i have trust issues i keep to myself
i know not to blame others for the cards they were dealt
gotta make it the best
even when you fail the test
find an instructor and learn
once you get it you will yearn
for the feeling to continue to earn
i'll wait my turn
i'll lend my help
i can never blame you for the cards i was dealt
i guess i am a statistic
child of a broken home not quite filled with mischief
maybe a slick mouth, i say whats on my mind and im out
i love my family but they caused me damage
luckily i can manage
i like to write, i have talent
it helps me fix what feels anxious
nah apologize no more
i guess like you said we are done this time for sure.
3/4ths out the door
by
La'Lee Zion
Inspired by life, cleaning out my closet.